I’m back with a more serious post geared to something that occurred while I was coming home from the gym. Normally I just let things brush off. However, this time I just have to let you Phatties know what I’m feeling. Occasionally I will be posting side note posts, or posts that are inspired by random occurrences and usually are an explanation of a random occurrence followed by a rant. My first rant is going to be on the perpetuation of fat shaming and my views on that. Alright, y’all, I hope you’re settled and comfy because I’m about to go AWF!
It was a lovely Tuesday evening. I was coming home from my friends dorm after she and I hit the sauna together and did some light stretching afterwards (I worked out prior to linking up with her, so the sauna was much needed.) I get off the bus at my stop and walk my tired-but-happy post-gym ass to my building. I get into the elevator and then a group of four men of colour (not relevant now but will be in the later part of the rant) enter the elevator and press their floor. So as we are sharing this brief but somewhat intimate space, they start having their own conversation. One of them says “Yo, I’m mad her name was ____”. Now brace yourselves because this is the part where shit turns. The other one turns to him and responds. “Well that’s a fat girl’s name anyway.” Three out of four of them cackle like a pack of hyenas, and the other, like me, stayed silent. Lawdddd, it’s time.
As I was sitting in awkward silence, it was taking every fiber of my being and every snatched follicle of my scalp to not comment. I waited patiently for them to exit the elevator, and once they left I sighed and said an expletive under my breath. First of all, I just want to put into perspective the dynamic of the people standing in this elevator. There are four men and then one woman who happens to be plus size. Am I offended by the fat comment? Absolutely not. Am I offended because it was rude af? Absofreakinglutely! I just think it’s completely sad that in a space where one is paying to gain knowledge and sagacity that comments of this nature still exist. Moreover, it’s even sadder that comments of this nature exist in 2016. Saying that *insert a name here* is a fat girl’s name not only sounds ignorant as all hell but it also makes no sense. It produces the same feelings in me like “oh, _______ is a black girl name” and the list of these dumbass phrases goes on and on like Erykah Badu. How can a name even categorize who a person is? Also, if you still consider being fat in America as a travesty I personally think you’re insecure AF and you need to check yourself. Clearly me, and I’m indirectly a representative of that girl, isn’t the one who’s feeling some type of what about themselves in this conversation.
We, as humans, need to start not only accepting things that are not reflective of ourselves but also acknowledge that we, too, can but in the same predicament as others. These men clearly have the maturity level of a peanut and have a ways to go before they can understand what humility and consideration mean at their core. However, in the meantime, they don’t get a pass for what was said. Hypothetically speaking, what if I were someone who would be offended by that comment? What if that was something that would be very detrimental to me? These are questions that affect many other people and should be considered before you say some dumb shit.
Lastly I just want to address my thoughts on POC bringing down or using language and actions that could negatively affect other POC. We need to start perpetuating our own inclusive and considerate culture where we aren’t utilizing harmful things to bring each other down. I was highly disappointed in these snotty-nosed boys because I feel like this is the shit that slowly pulls us apart from the inside out. We’ve fought for so much just to still continue to say negative shit about each other and other people.
At the end of the day, regardless of race, we need to start focusing on the bigger picture. The bigger picture is actually a far cry from the aesthetic of weight. We need to discuss mental health and physical health. There are a lot of “skinny” people out here with health issues that people only think are synonymous with being bigger. Mental health is extremely important because it plays a huge, if not, one of the biggest parts in why we gain weight the way we do. We need to start loving people more and expressing positivity and enlightenment. We need to UPLIFT people and let them know that they, too, matter despite their flaws which every being on this planet carries. At the end of the day this self-hate bullshit has to go, and we need to move forward to a space of being more and more self-assured and compassionate. To the people who would possibly be or have been offended by these types of comments: I understand where you are coming from, and I am so sorry that you are or were hurt by this. You deserve love and respect, and please know that no amount of weight will ever determine who you are within. I wish you well on your journey to self-acceptance, love and inner peace. To the quartet in the elevator and people like that: I am highly disappointed in you, and you can do much better. However, I wish you well in your journey to self-acceptance, love and inner peace just like I did for your counterparts.
I’ve officially ended my rant, y’all. I hope you all are having a wonderful and love-filled day, and until next time.