Episode VII: What I Deserve

Welcome back my loves!

I’ve been so out of touch with myself and The Cheyenne Hour lately.  School and work has really been stressful.  However, now I’m back to writing again, and hopefully it’ll be more consistent this time! That being said, let’s get to it!

It’s that time of the year again… when I am up at the wee hours of the day trying to not only finish work and study for finals, but also trying to combat the urge to write my feelings out due to being fueled by caffeine, hopes, dreams and stress. This mixture has caused me to be in my feelings, thus forcing me to throw in the towel and write. I haven’t done Expressive Writing in a while, but now is the time I should just get my feelings off my chest so that I can get back to being my studious self.

As I am voyaging deeper and deeper into my womanhood and learning more and more about what it means to be myself and how to navigate life, I am finding that I am starting to have many reflective periods. I am currently in one of those said periods, and although this time around my thoughts seem quite scattered, I am gaining a common theme between all of the mismatched puzzle pieces of my mind: what I deserve. No, I’m not saying that I’m deserving of a Nobel Prize for something, nor am I saying that I am entitled to anything. I am saying that there are things I have been denying myself for quite sometime, and I think that it’s time for me really focus on these things (note: some of these things may seem quite trivial while others may carry more weight. To me, they all have some level of significance, and that’s all that matters)

I deserve a cookie

I deserve sun-kissed days

I deserve fun

I deserve to get out of my comfort zone

I deserve laughter

I deserve cute dates and outings

I deserve to live out my life the way I intend to do so

I deserve to broaden my horizons

I deserve a good book

I deserve to go out more

I deserve to make and welcome new friends while still celebrating the old ones

I deserve kisses that make my heart melt

I deserve respect

I deserve to be stress-free

I deserve honesty and accountability

I deserve happiness in every form of the word

I deserve peace both internal and external

I deserve to not be so hard on myself

I deserve a cap and gown (working on it!)

I deserve self love

And lastly

I deserve all the things I work hard for to ameliorate my life because I was placed here for a higher purpose.

Everyone on the planet deserves to fight for what they really and truly want, and I hope that you all get what you deserve, too.

Well, I think it’s time for me to get back to my school work. *le sigh*

Until next time.

~Cheyenne Out


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