Episode XV: Love Yours- a Rant

Bom dia, people! I’ve been away for a minute trying to get my social media weight up, but now I’m here to discuss a topic that is near and dear to me: shopping.  Now, as y’all can see, I am a certified shopoholic (well… nowadays because I’m broke and in college I’m an even better window shopper but that’s besides the point).  I enjoy going into the store, picking out pieces that suit me best, swiping my card when necessary, and taking my ass home with some new shit.  Shopping, for me, is as therapeutic for me like a day at the spa.  I personally like to shop by myself because not only is it “Me Time”, I also feel more comfortable with shopping by myself because I don’t like to shop with people that constantly put themselves down and kill the vibe of the whole experience.  Now, some of y’all might say, “Cheyenne, baby girl, that’s a bit harsh”. Not gonna lie, I am in agreement with you on that.  However, I just want to give you my sentiments on this and go from there.

For a great majority of my life, I have been chubby, plus-sized, etc.  I remember being teased from age 10-18, and that ranged from being called fat to being bribed to do homework with food as a joke.  I know what it feels like to be ostracized by others based on aesthetics, and to be honest, it really squashed my self-esteem at first.  However, as an adult who dates consistently and who snatches edges, wigs, crochet braids and lace fronts on the regular, I have come to a point in my own self-confidence where I personally don’t give a rat’s ass about how other people feel about how I look because at the end of the day people need to live their lives happily and authentically, and I have made the choice to do just that.

Now, the reason why I brought this up is because during my high school years, I used to go shopping with some of my friends, most who were smaller than I am, and I used to feel very uncomfortable because they used to cry and groan about “how fat they were” in the fitting room mirror.  This shit would happen every. single. time. I would go shopping with them, and I used to think to myself, “You know, this is unfortunate.” This individual is talking about how “fat” they were, which in my opinion was never an insult to begin with, and mind you they had more options for clothing than I did, didn’t have to really go through the same shit as I did, and were still griping.  One day I had to put the kibosh on the situation because I was just tired of hearing people put themselves down about their weight and then asking me if they looked fat.  People at that point didn’t understand how rude I thought that was, and mind you, at that time I didn’t really have the best self-esteem, and it didn’t manifest in me calling myself fat, but it did rear its ugly head in negative thoughts about myself.  Even now that I feel astronomically better about myself, I still find this to be rude and unfortunate because people need to be considerate of other’s feelings, and no one should ever feel like how they look is a negative thing.

I cannot express to you how important it is to tell people, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, etc, that they matter and that their bodies matter as well.  We shouldn’t have to cry in the Forever XXI fitting room because we had to go a size up in jeans. We shouldn’t be feeling negatively about ourselves and think that we’ll never find love because we’re a size 20 and not a zero, and most certainly we should NOT, and I repeat, NOT have to put up with the bullshit of people trying to put us down and make us feel lesser than who we are.  Everyone is beautiful and important, and nothing, even the mere corpses of our souls, will change that.  Life is too damn short to be living beside yourself with apprehension of the future, worrying about who will love you and “What-ifs” about if you were smaller.  We have to acknowledge the negativity, work through it, and support one another to love ourselves.  Self-love shouldn’t have to be a lonely and hopeless experience.  It should be something collective to breed intercommunal love, support and altruism.  We, as a plus-sized community, and people in general, need to work together to combat patriarchal and societal norms, to make a name for ourselves and our people, and to show others that we matter and are SOOOOO much more than a size and a SKU number.

This being said, I started a hashtag on Instagram called #confidenceismyootd.  It is to help promote body positivity and to show that everyone is capable of slaying, and most importantly being them while doing so.  Please share this hashtag because I feel that everyone should embody, wear and own their self-confidence.

I thank you all for your love, support and thoughts.  I greatly appreciate my followers, and I want you to continue to be apart of my blog, and body positivity movement as a whole.  As always, it’s a pleasure to have you on The Cheyenne Hour.  Until next time.

~Cheyenne Out.


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